How to Talk to Someone You Love About Getting Help

If someone you care about is struggling with mental health challenges or substance use, you may feel caught between wanting to help and not knowing how — or between speaking up and risking the relationship. Both of those tensions are real.

There's no perfect script for this conversation. But there are approaches that tend to work better than others.

Lead with love, not ultimatums

Ultimatums can sometimes be the right call — but they shouldn't be the first call. Starting a conversation by telling someone what will happen if they don't change puts them immediately on the defensive. Starting it with "I love you and I'm worried about you" opens a door.

Use observations, not labels

"You've seemed really withdrawn lately, and I've noticed you're drinking more than usual. I care about you and I wanted to check in" lands very differently than "You have a drinking problem." The first invites conversation. The second invites denial.

Don't try to fix it in one conversation

This is almost never a single-conversation situation. Plant a seed. Tell them you're there. Give them time to sit with it. You can always follow up.

Know your own limits

Loving someone through addiction or mental illness is exhausting. Supporting them does not mean sacrificing your own health and stability. You are allowed to have boundaries. You are also allowed to ask for help for yourself — many of our clients come to us not for their own mental health, but because they're trying to figure out how to help a loved one.

If you'd like to talk through what's happening in your family, our team is available. Call (502) 430-2041 or reach out online.